6. Dec, 2017

It is ok to be vulnerable

It is the first step to be self-aware and take action.

No matter which successful person I have the honor of learning from, they all mention the same thing-emotional intelligence.

Everyone knows that emotional intelligence is important but few people tend to know what self-awareness is or how to improve it.

The conversation in entrepreneur culture needs to shift from talking with buzzwords like emotional intelligence to listening to experts who work with clients to improve their self-awareness each day.

As a coach, I work with clients to improve their self-awareness.

I know for a fact that the clients I work with deepen their understanding of themselves in a way that boosts their emotional intelligence.


Because results speak for themselves.

Some clients learn to treat themselves more compassionately, to be more responsive and supportive of their emotional needs. Others challenge their negative self-criticism and tendency to ruminate on past events and start living more fully in the present moment.

Other clients start listening to their intuition and engaging in regular journaling, exercise, yoga, and mediation.

Some clients--the type who are unfamiliar with their own feelings--develop the ability to identify, acknowledge, and express their emotions in healthier ways.

And almost all clients improve the ways that they relate to others by starting with how they treat themselves, which is the starting point for everything.

Because when you spend time focusing on yourself--your strengths, weaknesses, and areas of continued growth--and you combine that awareness  with accountability and a process that encourages vulnerability and trust, the result is a radical shift in mindset.

That shift in mentality--or insight--coincides with greater opportunity to take action. And taking new actions leads to new patterns and healthier relationships.

Let me give you a very simple example.

Nowadays many people spend long hours each day working a difficult and demanding job that with technology is becoming 365-24 hrs. People make great money, feel engaged and passionate about their jobs, but the stress is there and each day the feeling of emptiness is growing and affecting relationships.

In our work together--so long as the client is committed to the process--the client will deepen his-her ability to notice the stress levels and will recognize the impact that his-her overworking is having on relationships.

All of this self-awareness and understanding, combined with the relationship we create in which the client feels like he-she can openly share and express these feelings, without being judged enables  to make different life choices

At the end of our work, this same client who called me feeling irritable, overwhelmed, and stressed is leaving with higher self-awareness and the ability to do something with that insight--make better choices.

I think that the entire mentality associated with entrepreneurship and leadership is self-involved--focused more on the glory of success than the enjoying the road to it.

The hyper-masculine "do it yourself" mentality of entrepreneurship results in fear of being perceived as weak for talking about one's feelings. Business itself tends to revolve around emotional suppression, so I'm not at all surprised that people claim that they aren't sure how to improve emotional intelligence.

I hope that you have the courage to listen to your feelings. Because I think that everyone deserves an opportunity to live a happier and more fulfilling life. And I think that improving yourself awareness is the fastest way to do that.

Stop refusing to justify taking one hour out of your week to devote to your growth. It's one hour out of 168.

And I promise that one hour--over time--will make a bigger difference than any single book, application, or motivational talk. 

All the best