Do you want to make your New Year Resolutions work once and for all? Write YES to get your toolkit
The tradition of New Years resolutions goes back over 4000 years. Babylonians made promises & offerings to their gods at the beginning of the New Year, so the gods might bestow their grace upon them. During Caesar's time in ancient Rome, the first month of the year was named after the god Janus, a two faced god who looked backward into the old year and forward into the New Year. Resolutions were usually of a moral flavor – to be good to each other, to think of others etc. – and in one form or another, the tradition of making New Year's Resolutions continues.
Indeed, making New Years resolutions that are centered on the concept of self-improvement is still common. However, without fearing the gods any longer, most of us fail to follow through with what we resolve to do. In fact, the failure rate of those who come up with goals for the New Year is 88% (2007, Richard Wisemann, University of Bristol), even though 52% of those who set out on New Years Resolutions feel confident they will succeed.
Let's explore why most people lose their motivation to reach their goals after only a short period of time.
The way we approach New Years Resolutions & goal setting is flawed as we most often come from a place of fear. Our inner critic makes us believe that what we previously have done has not been enough. So we create a "To do" list which is based on things we SHOULD be doing to correct the parts we like least about ourselves - what a "good" person would do.
Obviously, these goals are coming from a place that is sabotaging our resolve. They are stressful to pursue, often uninspiring, and drain ones motivation.
However, if you observe closely beneath the surface, goals are always about creating a change in how we want to feel.
This year I want to invite you to clarify how you'd like to feel in 2018. Once clear on those feelings, you can envision those accomplishments and experiences that could make you feel that way.It is about working from the feeling you want to achieve and from the I WANT not the I SHOULD. And have FUN!
You see, if we attach ourselves to a very particular goal - we can get stuck. However, once you focus on your desired feeling you will find that there is always an abundance of paths to what you want to create in your life. It is about moving towards what you want to achieve instead of running away or losing something you don’t want to .Your list of possible "to dos" becomes meaningful. And you can start right NOW.
So look at your list and ask your self why that goal is on there. What's the desired feeling underneath?
Then question yourself further:
- What can I do today that gets me into this feeling?
- What do I need to stop doing to get me into this feeling?
- What new thoughts would get me into this feeling?
- What thoughts get in the way of feeling this way?
When you get clear on how you want to feel, your decisions on what to do get informed by the heart of the matter. You start to see that life is full of opportunities to feel exactly the way you want to feel .
But it is important to put a SMART plan in place.
A dream written down becomes a goal and the goal will become your reality.
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All the best this year and the years to come!